Clouds of gloom

Life at times, seems to move at a very slow pace … Oops… this reminds me of the theory of relative motion… I still remember, my physics teacher say, “Imagine you are sitting in a train that is stopped at a railway station, with another train facing the opposite direction on the track directly beside you. When the other train starts moving, you will taken by a surprise! And will feel your train has started moving, when it still had 10 minutes to move… Now after the train has passed from the front of your window… you will know you are still there at the station…”

Conversely, ever since I have noticed, I have always found that my train is always at a stop, while the other trains were always running ahead of me… I always used to compare the pace of my life with the people around me…

Life seems to be at a stop again… some of my team mates have gone onsite… some close pals have set their wings off and ventured into interesting fields… some have crossed oceans to fulfill their Master dreams… some of my friends are happily married ( haa haa… an oxymoron there)…. some of my juniors are already proud mothers… Their lives always seemed to be thrilling….

But here I am … still sitting and cursing life… for not being exciting … for not being challenging and I having to lead yet another boring routine… I was only empathizing… "Is this what I wanted in Life” … But eh hold on a second... who is responsible for all this???.... Why can’t I look at it with a positive mind…? Why can’t I make it sound more interesting…?

Somehow Life was always an accelerating treadmill where I had to run faster and faster just to stay in one place. I have had no time to appreciate the small miracles in life… and now this slow pace has made me feel the life around me…. At times I hear my conscience saying “Ye Meri Life hai, mujhe apne dang se jeene do" (This is my life and let me live it my way)

Now I have all the time with me…. to read my favorite book, to listen to my favorite song on the radio, to cook my own food and relish it, to day dream as long as I want to… to watch that little bird sing through my bedside window…. Eh I even have the time to workout at the gym, to get drenched in the rain… to watch the kids on the street play “Crocodile, crocodile, can we cross the golden river…” Mebbe will also find some time to join my driving classes, and the long awaited western violin classes… And the most of all… I have started spending more time with myself… I have started doing those little interesting things…

Guess I have started living my life…. “Now I feel…. Mebbe This is what I wanted”… I would never want to compare my pace of life with my neighbors… Bcos now I know… they are missing all these small wonders… :-)

Sometimes there are clouds of gloom.
But these are transient all;
If shower will make the roses bloom,
Oh why lament its fall?
Rapidly, merrily … Life’s funny hours flit by
Gratefully, cheerily…enjoy them as they fly.

--Thanks to those verses of Charlotte Bronte